gloomy Christmas?

I love Christmas. I love the snow, the joy, the family and friends.
Last year I found myself missing out. I didn’t have a work Christmas party, Orlund’s work had theirs during work hours. We weren’t invited to any Christmas parties other than our church banquet (which we had to purchase tickets to).  I know why we weren’t invited out, we didn’t have anyone over to our house. And if you don’t invite people over, they don’t invite you either. It’s plain and simple. I came to the realization that we are to self involved. The day’s pass quickly, we are constantly tired, however we need to put in the effort to have friends. I’m not just talking about at Christmas time, I’m talking all year round. Why not have people over for parties? I’m always concerned my house wont be ‘good’ enough, clean enough etc to have guests over. I’m now part of a program called “” she teaches you how to FLY (Finally loving yourself). Sure my house isn’t spotless and I have a long way to go, but she instructs us to let go of our perfectionism and just start enjoying life.

So this year. Today. December 1st. I sat on the cold tile hearth in our living room. The vacuum cleaner which had just been smoking sat next to me. My vacuum is officially dead. I mumbled under my breath “guess I get a Vacuum for Christmas this year”. I started to think of the friends we’ve made this year. How I’d wish to have them over. Orlund has told me that we can’t host a huge party as our house just can’t hold more than a couple couples at a time. I asked Orlund “Do you know if there will be a Christmas party at your work this year?Do you think it’ll be in the evening or at lunch again?”
“I don’t know, why?” he ask
“well I’m hoping it’ll be at night so I get to go to at least one Christmas party this year” I paused “to be completely honest”.
The thought about the fact that this holiday season will be spent at home alone again crept into my mind.I hung my head down, resting on my hands. A cold draft from the fireplace chilled my back, the tears started to well up in my eyes. The negative gloomy thoughts all started to sneak in. What about having a few people over at a time? Who said that? the thought came in, with it a negative response. Orlund said no. Wait, he said no to LARGE parties, what about a few people at a time? I don’t know if I was talking with God or just my inner voice (perhaps one in the same) but I decided to listen.
“what about if we have a few people at a time?” I asked Orlund
He looked up from his computer “sounds good to me! I would love to have people over, I just don’t want to plan it all”

There we go. My Christmas season does not need to be a gloomy one, but one filled with love. And if my house isn’t perfect, my friends wont have a problem with it, if they do… what kind of friends are they? Time to pick myself up and get out of the self pity and do something about it!

So onto “operation party”. First, I clean. I clean, I clean I clean. I have written a list of 13 areas of my home that need to be cleaned (I mean re-vamped cleaning). If I do twoish a day I can have them all done by the time our Church’s Christmas banquet arrives (Dec 7th).  I’ll start figuring out who I want to have over, and invite them! Orlund’s given me the Okay, so I can do this. No one is responsible for me being happy except me. So here I go… Ready to follow along on my path? I’ll try to blog a little at the end of each day to keep myself on track and let you know how I’m doing… Need to do some re-vamping too? Jump on in and do it with me. Write out a list of what you need to do and how many tasks a day to complete it by Dec 7th and LETS DO THIS!

2 thoughts on “gloomy Christmas?

  1. Oh dear!
    We have people over all the time. (I’m way more enthused about it than Matt, but he puts on a good face for my sake.) (And I always invite waaay too many.) We’ve only been at our current address for one year, and while this place is nice and presentable, our previous homes were NOT. Trust me. Your friends won’t care. Make sure it’s tidy where they come in and they have a place to hang their coats. Forget the bedrooms. Throw all the clutter in there and close the doors. I always make sure to clean the bathroom because I don’t want to gross anybody out, but most of the time no one goes in there anyway. Save the cleaning – especially the mopping and such – for after the party. (And besides, if you let people see you don’t keep a perfect home they will feel more comfortable because no one keeps a perfect home these days, especially with kids.)
    Happy Holidays. I hope your celebrations are a success. I hope it goes smoothly so you and Orlund are encouraged to do it more often.

  2. Thanks Danica for the encouragement! It’s just a self blockage I have, I know it is about having my house clean. We have a few friends who keep those perfect houses (even with kids) but I agree it’s more comfortable when it’s not so perfect… I’m always worried I’ll put something in the wrong place at their homes. 😛
    As of today my house is in (enough)order I could have someone just drop in and it’d be fine (with bedroom doors closed). So I just gotta get to hosting 😉

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